Glossary
Rules for feeling heard
Rules for feeling heard are the signs each person needs to believe they’ve been listened to, an idea from Kamal Sarma’s WinWin Conversations framework.
Last updated
In Kamal Sarma’s WinWin Conversations framework, feeling heard isn’t one universal thing. Each of us has our own signs that we’ve been listened to, and what reassures one person can feel wrong to another. A follow-up question can feel caring to one partner and like pressure to the other. Most couples have never compared lists.
So ask: “What tells you I’ve really heard you?” and share your own answer. Kamal’s book, The Art of WinWin Conversations, goes deeper, and Untangle’s heard-rules exercise is free for everyone.
Sources
- Untangle: The Method (checked October 21, 2026)
Have the conversation.
Tara sits between you, each on your own phone, so you both walk away heard. 3 days free, then $25 a month for both of you.