Glossary
Repair attempt
A repair attempt is any word or gesture during a fight that stops it from escalating, like a joke, an apology or asking to start over.
Last updated
The term comes from the Gottman Institute, which describes a repair attempt as any statement or action, silly or not, that keeps negativity from spiraling out of control. It can be small: “I’m getting defensive,” “Can we start again?”, a hand on the arm, a joke that breaks the tension.
A repair only works if the other person lets it land. The Gottman Institute calls the consistent failure of repair attempts a sign of an unhappy future, and says couples who learn to repair well can get through even their worst patterns.
Some couples agree on a signal in advance, a word or gesture either of you can use, so a repair is easy to make and hard to miss.
Sources
- The Gottman Institute: R is for Repair (checked October 21, 2026)
Have the conversation.
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